PopTart Monkeys

I'd like to proudly announce that last night was awesome! How do I know? Well I woke up this morning and it looks like I tried to eat a poptart, but didn't wan't to swallow it so I just chewed it and then spit it out all over myself. Yes, I was that drunk.
So last night I was looking for something to do. Just chilling on Facebook talking to people to see whats up. I see that Patrick is online so I'm all like, "whats good yo?"
He's all, "party you in?"
I'm like, "hells yeah."
We get a ride to this place and it takes like an hour cuz we get mad lost, but Kristina was a trooper and we pulled through to make it in just in time for me to take one shot from a drained ass bottom of rum. Not to worry, the night was very young (although it was already twelve). Very lucky for us the party was not dry yet. Hit up the keg in the other room and started getting nice. We ran into Alex and Crystal, they were both being awesome. No disrespect to my last blog, but I think I said something dumb because Alex slapped me.
These chicks were doing keg stands. One girl blew my mind when she did one for 42 seconds. I guess I didn't get the memo that the party was Hawaiian themed. I watched as some kid chased these girls around the back yard like a drunk mothafucka, on like the coldest night of the year wearing like a tee shirt. It was great homeboy just falling, and doing that cartoon shit where your legs are running but you aren't actually moving.
We were starting to get pretty buzzed, but Kristina wanted to go so we left, and on the way back to campus me and Pat laid down some sick freestyle in the backseat. Me doing lil' Wayne like a BAMF.
I guess I asked Kristina to drop me off at this hotel downtown because I knew the DJ and I thought the 24 year old was going to be there. Unfortunately, when me and Pat got in there the DJ had already left, and the party was basically over. We thought about trying to get served at the bar, but didn't feel that confident. We did use their bathroom before we left, and I started drunk texting the older girl and the girl from Facebook.
We were walking back to campus when we saw the cops outside of Kappa Sig. They were having a huge Christmas party, and what sounded like a live band. Intriguing! We wandered around the house until we found a place where we could jump the fence. Got in. Went to the bar. Got drinks, tipped a dollar, got shots, got drunk! Then we went to the keg, and got more beer. I can't believe I didn't baff last night. So the band was awesome. Or I think they were awesome. Either way we capped the night off by getting up on stage we them and holding our drinks up real high when they covered "I Love College."
Oh man when they finally finished playing we were decently gone. I was making eyes at basically every girl in there. Telling the older girl that I would have a drink for her. Got another beer for some reason. Then we heard some brothers say, "You know what I hate? Kids that aren't Kappa Sig." Needless to say we got the fuck out of there.
Got back to my room, and I guess I thought that I needed a poptart. Whatever, good night!
Wait.... I figured out why I got a Poptart. When I was thinking of a title for this post I remember the name of the band last night. Poptart Monkeys! That explains my drunken logic.